They think we don’t see them. They are not always visible to the naked eye. They hide in the school pickup line, and blend in at football games. They bring children lunches and sit in the church pew next to you. You’ll hear them hollering behind the umpire the same as you’ll see them on the field coaching little league. You may hear them loud and clear or they may simply be a whisper in their child’s ear. They are the puppet master pulling the strings of their brain developing puppets.

They are there choosing their children’s friends. Making sure their child is in the “in crowd”. They teach their child to exclude certain children and stick with their clique. Even when their clique is mean, controlling and unhealthy for their child. They sit back and tell their children what to text your child. How to feel about your child. How to act toward your child and how to treat your child. They are the puppet master behind the strings pushing send in that group text.

They are whispering in their child’s ear causing division, drama and anger. They are the voice behind the mute puppet. The hands controlling the lifeless moves. They are the parents living vicariously through their child. They use their child voice to be the voice they never could find for themselves.

They are bored with their lives so they live through their puppet child. But while the puppet master lives, the puppet itself cannot. It cannot have thoughts of its own. It cannot move, it cannot breathe. It cannot have emotions, or feel joy and love. The puppet itself cannot be happy. It is limp and lifeless until the puppet master pulls the strings, telling it what and who to be. How to appear to feel.

Put down the strings. Let your child be a real child. Let them love, laugh, and feel real joy. Let them learn to solve their own problems. Instead of controlling the movements, show them how to move. Breathe life. Speak life. Step back. Rather than pushing to have your child become who, and what you want them to be. Sit back and enjoy watching them be who they are. Put down the strings. Sit in the audience. I promise its a much better view. For once, be Mom instead of puppet master. I promise you will enjoy the show. And if you’re lucky. You’ll get a front row seat.